This is a guest post from Village Hive Member, Corey McCusker.
Is it time for a reality check?
Do you believe that if you achieve certain things you’ll be happier or if you don’t you’ve failed?
Do you ever assume that you know what others are thinking?
Do you ever automatically judge others or want to change their ways to be more like you?
Do you perceive things a certain way and then find out how different they really are?
When you assume that you know what’s in another person’s head or what is going on with an event you’re making a big mistake. When you think your way is the right way recognize it may not be. Let me explain why.
Each person has their own values and beliefs about the world then judge and make assumptions accordingly. These develop over their lifetime through their experiences and what they have been taught. It’s like an evaluation filter system and encoded in the brain. A person sees the world each day through their eyes, filter the information and create an internal representation of what THEY THINK is going on. That is their reality, what they believe to be true.
Consider your sense of “reality” is determined every single second by how you choose to filter and process the information presented. You narrow your perspective based on your inner make up which consist of memories, values, attitudes and beliefs. This is why your interpretation may be different than that of your partner, your spouse, your parents, your children, your co-workers, your teammates or coaches, etc. as they all have different realities.
You make the choice on what to notice, see, hear, feel, etc. You can choose to focus on solutions, the good or you can focus on the problems, the defective and get stuck. Recognize that everything outside of you is simply a reflect-i-on of your inner world. So what you project is based on what you are made up of and if the outcomes you are having don’t jive it’s time for a reality check.
You may be wondering, how do you stop projecting? Well, I’ve got some news for you: you never stop. You now may think, so what’s the point? You need to be aware of what you are projecting and be clear on your reality. Reflect on why you have certain attitude and beliefs. Why is it important to you for things to be a certain way? Was that your upbringing or did certain things happen that impacted what you belief? Maybe it’s time to let go of what you hold on to or to clean the slate and create a new reality if you are feeling stuck or held back.
The next time, you find yourself critical of others, judgmental or stuck and confused take a moment and ask yourself these questions:
- What triggered inside of me to cause me to perceive this aspect or situation this way?
- Do these beliefs and attitudes help me or hurt me?
- Is there a part of me that I need to recognize that is being reflected in what I see in others that affects me?
- What else is possible?
- How can I look at this as an observer to see it in a different perspective?
- What can I learn from this that helps me to move forward and release judgment or negativity? ???????
If you need an adjustment or a reality check you can make a change. Having the right mindset and a clear perspective takes time if it’s been clouded.
When you realize your perception isn’t always the reality you want you can change it. Awareness is the start so when you are triggered that is your sign to reflect. Determine what it is you want to be clear and focus on that. Recognize your values, beliefs and how they were set. When you feel the urge to change other people’s behavior, then it would seem that the most sensible place would be to focus inward and start changing yourself.
If it’s time for a reality check and you need some guidance in making changes contact Corey, Mental Performance Coach for a complimentary mental mastery session.
Looking for additional support or have questions please contact me firstname.lastname@example.org or call me at 416-508-0018 to discuss how I can help!